Knives, Water Whips, and Really Big Rocks
by TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba
Summary: Katara and Toph are mad at their boyfriends. Sokka and Aang try to hide with Zuko who has his own little problem with Mai. 'Zuko! I don't want to be pebbled to death' Kiss and make up everyone. Tokka, Zai, Kataang
1. Hide and Please Don't Seek

Disclaimer: I have two dollars and pennies in my wallet…no I don't own Avatar and I'm not making any money off this or anything else for that matter. I'm also totally okay with that.

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Sokka and Aang were worried. That wasn't particularly normal for either young man since the fall of Ozai four years ago, mostly because they simply wouldn't allow it. They'd saved the world, what did they have to worry about now? But now, they were experiencing a new threat. A threat far more dangerous than some guy with a balloon trying to set the world on fire. Both had managed to highly irritate Toph and Katara respectively. Admittedly, the prank had been a bit much.

Actually, the better term would be terrified. They were terrified. They'd seen what the girls had done to the rabbit-weasels. Those poor rabbit-weasels.

These emotions were two key reasons why Aang was flying his glider high above the gates of the Imperial Palace with Sokka hanging on, yelling at him to go faster. Aang glided above the roof of the palace, and Sokka dropped down, landing in a crouch and looking around nervously. Aang landed and was already sprinting off to find Zuko, hoping to receive sanctuary from the powerful benders that they'd pissed off who just happened to be their girlfriends. In the girls' minds, it only gave them the right to hurt them even more.

Aang jumped off the roof, using his airbending to soften the landing.

"Wait up, Aang! Not all of us can run like the wind."

Aang bended the air behind Sokka to blow him forward and off the roof, softening the landing as he'd done for himself.

"We don't have time to play around, Sokka! We have to Zuko before the girls get to us!"

He frantically ran up to the nearest guard.

"Where's the Fire Lord?"

"In his study, Avatar Aang."

"Thanks," was all the guard heard before he was bowled over by a gust of wind.

"Sorry," Sokka called to him over his shoulder as he followed in Aang's wake. He went around the corner and nearly rammed into Aang who was standing stock still.

"Where's his study?"

"Uhm…"

Much longer than either young man would have liked, they found the door to Zuko's study. Not bothering to knock (it was just Zuko), they pushed open the door and rushed up to his desk.

"Zuko, you have to help us!"

"She's going to kill me! For real this time!"

"It wasn't even my complete fault and she's totally overreacting!"

"I don't want to be pelted to death with pebbles!"

Aang drew back and looked at his (someday) brother-in-law if Katara didn't kill him.

"Pebbles?"

"Yeah! I'd rather be crushed with a boulder than pelted endlessly for hours with hard, tiny, probably pointy rocks."

"Good point," Aang conceded.

Zuko had his head down the entire time they'd been talking. He slowly looked up and both boys winced. He had bags under his eye(s?) and it intensified the glare he was sending them.

"Go away."

"Zuko, have a heart, man!" Sokka pleaded. "You can't let them get me!"

"I thought they wanted Aang, too."

"No, Katara wants Aang, but if he manages to escape, she'll go for me since I'm fair game."

"Look," Zuko leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose as if to stave off a headache. "I'm not getting along with Mai too well right now, and I don't need Katara and Toph mad at me, too."

"Really?" Aang asked, sounding more interested than he should.

Sokka leaned forward. "Now that you mention, you do look like something a hippephant stepped on. What'd you do?"

"I…don't want to talk about it," he glanced away and rubbed at a spot on his shoulder

"Aw, come on. It's your duty to give us single guys an example of what living the married life is like. Plus, if we know what you did to get Mai mad, we can avoid doing it ourselves and gloat about how much better our relationships are compared to yours."

"Uh, Sokka, maybe we should leave him alone," Aang cautioned him when Zuko's eye started twitching. "We could probably get to Omashu and hide with Bumi for a while."

"No, wait, I want to know what he did. Come on, buddy, you can tell me. Don't you trust me?"

"At this moment, no, I really don't," Zuko sighed. "You guys can hide in the palace but if they break anything on your heads when they find you, you're paying for it. Also, stay out of Mai's gardens. I will not stop her from killing you."

"Gee, thanks. What a pal," Sokka rolled his eyes.

Zuko narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but Aang quickly cut him off.

"You're the best, Sifu Hotman! We really appreciate it," Aang grabbed Sokka, and sprinted out the door with him.

Zuko stared at the door absently for a moment before he let his head hit the desk with a thud.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the saviors of the world."

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A/N: Let's pretend the marrying age is much younger, which it probably is.

If the boys seem Ooc, take into account that this is four years later, and Sokka's influence on Aang and other such things. It's called 'Imagination'!..COUGHand the author's lazinessCOUGH.

There will be one, maybe two more chapters to this that will be posted sometime before the year is out :)


	2. Ready or Not

August 23, 2010

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Katara fumed and muttered under her breath as she marched towards the palace. How dare Aang do this to her! Sokka, she could see Sokka doing it, but Aang? She hadn't expected it from him. Which is why Sokka had recruited him. But they would pay. They would both pay.

Toph walked next to Katara as they both headed for the palace to get their boys. Over the past four years, she'd gotten taller, slimmer, and filled out well. She looked like a real lady in the regal green robes she was wearing. However, they were designed so that they wouldn't hinder her bending whatsoever, so Sokka was still a dead man walking. Or rather, dead man running and hiding.

They reached the palace gates and the guards stationed there ordered them to halt.

"They must be new," Toph commented. After the war, the Fire Nation capitol had been exposed to people from all the nations. Katara and Toph wouldn't be recognized for their clothing alone.

"Either move them or I will," Katara told her in a dangerous tone as a hand hovered dangerously near the water pouch on her hip.

"Yeah, Sweetness. No problem."

As the two guards approached them, Toph raised her hands palms up to her waist, put them together, and pushed them apart. A slab of earth rose up six feet between the guards and pushed them far to either side of the girls. About a mile if she judged right. Toph raised a hand straight out in front of her and held her hand rigid as if she were gripping a knob. Two quick jerks to the left, a flick of the wrist, and the huge metal gate swung open, admitting the ladies in.

"So should we go find the boys first or Mai?" Toph asked as stretched her arms above her head. She wasn't so much mad as she was annoyed. Being prone to a prank or two much more severe than the one the boys had pulled, she was far more lenient. It was the principle of the thing, really. No one, that is, NO ONE pranked the Blind Bandit and got away with it.

"Mai might have seen them. We'll see her first. Plus, I don't want to get on her bad side if we end up doing something to her gardens."

"Yeah, she is pretty crazy about her flowers," Toph paused a moment, tilting her head to the side as she felt for Mai's presence. She marched straight forward, headed for the opposite side of the palace grounds. Katara followed, keeping an eye out for the boys in case they were stupid enough to poke their heads out of one of the windows. Just before they made it to the overhang of the roof, Toph pushed her hands down then up at an angle. The earth beneath them jumped up with such force that it sent them flying into air over the roof. Toph laughed as Katara screams filled the air. Toph summoned another platform of earth upwards into the air and they both landed easily.

"A little warning would have been nice!" Katara muttered.

"Hold on," Toph told her with that mad grin on her face.

"Hold on to wha-AAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

The earth beneath them abruptly dropped down when Toph pushed it. Just in front of them, Mai was seated on an iron bench under a blossoming sakura tree in the middle of her garden. She had several scroll set on the bench and three knives in hand.

"You've been practicing. I have to say, I'm impressed," Mai had a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, I have that affect on people," Toph grinned as she brushed her sleeves off. The dirt trailed after her fingers and floated above her hand

"Don't do that! Tui and La, you're insane!" Katara yelled at her.

Toph stuck her pinky in her left ear and pulled it out with something brown on it, casually flicking it off.

"I've known you four years and I'm still waiting for you to tell me something I don't know."

"Whatever. Have you seen Aang or Sokka?" Katara asked Mai.

"Recently or in my lifetime?" she replied dryly.

"Oh, come on! Why are you being so difficult?"

"Enough of this. Spill it, Sunshine. What's going on?" Toph demanded. She formed an earth throne and plopped into it.

"What are you talking about?" Katara asked Toph.

"Mai's upset. Possibly mad. Probably at Zuko. What'd he do?"

Mai shook her head slightly, saying,

"I will never understand how you do that. Yes, I'm mad at Zuko. We had a…disagreement and now we're not talking."

"Mai, I'm sorry," Katara said as she sat down on the bench. "What were you, um, 'disagreeing' –"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I know that you and Sparky aren't the talkiest people out of our group, but I don't get how you two can share a bed and not talk this out or whatever," Toph said.

"We've been sleeping in separate rooms," Mai admitted.

"Seriously? And Zuko hasn't set the place on fire yet?"

"Toph!" Katara scolded.

"What? In my own undisputedly awesome opinion, you and Sparky need to just go in a room with a flat surface, hard or soft is totally up to you, for a couple of hours and work out your little issues together. But if I'm still here, please do that on the second story."

"Basically, what you're saying is that I should have sex with him?" Mai asked with a raised brow.

"Exactly! I mean, that's why you married him right?" Toph smirked at her.

"Oh, yeah. I married him for his body," Mai smiled.

"Spirits know it wasn't for his title," Katara grinned.

"Or money, personality, and that other thing. What's that other thing, Katara?" Toph teased. "It has a distinctive 'L' sound."

"Lust?" she offered.

Mai snorted and rolled her eyes at her friends' antics.

"Nah, but that's close and was definitely a factor."

"Hm. Oh, you mean love," Katara sighed the word with Toph and they both laughed at their own silliness.

"Screw the both of you," Mai told them as she gathered her scrolls together. She stood up amidst their giggles.

"Aw, we're just messin' witcha, Sunshine. Don't get pouty."

"I'm not. I'm going to go work out some issues with Zuko," she smirked at them and held up a glinting knife. Mai walked off to the sound of Toph's cat-calls.

"Whoo! Get 'im, girl!" Toph cackled. "Second story!"

Katara chuckled and smiled after her friend until a thought came to her. Just as she opened her mouth, Mai called over her shoulder,

"Your boys are in the kitchen. Have fun."

"Oh, we will!" Katara assured her. "Come on, Toph. Let's go."

"Way ahead of ya!" Toph called to her as she ran the opposite way Mai had gone.

The three young women set off with intentions to deal with their respective men in their own specials ways. All three men were unaware how close they were to their imminent fates. That's pretty sad when one is the bridge between two worlds, the other is a deadly warrior and brilliant tactician, and the last it the Fire Lord and master firebender.

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A/N: 'Behind every great man, you'll find a woman.'

Totally forgot last chapter. Zai Week starts in two days, officially starting on the 25th. Post as many stories as you want. I, myself, went totally crazy with it. I cannot wait!

Funny, amusing? What? You gotta tell me something here, people.


	3. Here They Are

Because **Snowboardingchic25 **asked for it. She even said please. You see what reviews do? Amazing little things...

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"How did they find us?"

"I told you not to make a triple decker sandwich! Did you listen? Nooo!"

"I was starving! They would have tracked us anyway with how loud my stomach was growling. And you ate too!"

"Whatever, Sokka. Keep running!"

"What's it look like I'm doing?"

Aang and Sokka argued back and forth, having just escaped from the girls in the kitchen. Exploding flour bombs were actually effective for escape, even against blind, feel sensitive earth benders. Who knew? Since their Fire Nation sanctuary was no longer safe, they were running back to Zuko so they could borrow an airship to get them to Omashu. Why didn't they use Appa? Katara has the air bison whistle. Hence, riding air bison is not only a bad idea, it's suicide.

Aang, with the help of airbending on his side, was way in front of Sokka. The two sprinted upstairs, thinking they might be able to confuse Toph's 'sight' a little. In truth, they both knew she was just playing with them, like a cat and weevil-mice. Or rabbit-weasels.

They scrambled back up to the roof and ran to Zuko's office, now reasonably sure of where it was this time. Aang dropped onto the balcony first, while Sokka absently noted that they seriously needed to do something about the security. Aang pushed open the door, drew in a big breath of air to begin his ranted plea when he froze, holding his breath. Sokka landed next to him, took a look at his buddy then inside to what he was staring at. They openly gaped at the sight before them.

Zuko was pinned to the wall. Mai was standing in a pool of red before him. Aang let out his breath in a squeak. Sokka's hand automatically came up to cover his mouth. Mai sent them a lazy glance, a knife in hand.

"Sorry, wrong room!" Sokka blurted and slammed the door, backing himself and Aang up to the rail, his hand still covering his mouth.

"Were they just –"

"Mmhph!"

"But with knives!"

"Brmphah!"

"Aang," Sokka sent his friend a very serious look. "Fire Nation are freaky."

"Mm-hmm."

The metal balcony beneath them warped and shifted before either could react, wrapping around their legs. They both screamed as it sucked them down through the floor.

**

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**

Back in Zuko's study, Mai was following Toph's advice. Most of Zuko's red shirt had been cut off at the front and fallen to the floor, leaving enough sleeve to pin him to the wall. Aang and Sokka's interruption already forgotten, they went back to the, ahem, forgiving each other.

**

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**

"I'm so sorry! It wasn't my idea, he made me do it! I tried to stop him! Toph, please don't pebble me!" Sokka pleaded.

He would beg on his knees, but she had sunk him up to that point in the ground floor of the palace. Shortly before his begging had started, Toph had released Aang only for Katara to freeze him in ice and pull him after her. His screams still shook Sokka to the bone.

"You honestly expect me to believe all of that was Aang's idea and he forced you to do it? Especially," Toph stomped the ground, popping Sokka up slightly so that they were face to face. "when I can _tell you're lying._"

"But – but…but… I."

How it was possible that someone so cute and tiny and girly looking could be so scary was beyond him.

"Yeah. Really, that was an awful trick you two played," Toph said as she started to circle Sokka. She pulled the meteor bracelet off of her arm and bent it into different shapes.

"I can't just let it slide, you know."

She turned it into a little man as she went behind him.

"I have a certain reputation to maintain."

She came back in front of him. The little man's body was in one hand, his head in the other. Sokka gulped.

"Toph, baby. It was just a little joke. A little funny, ha-ha, laugh. I do that. I'm the funny, meat guy," he chuckled nervously.

Toph got right in his face and he immediately stopped.

"Do I look like I'm laughing?"

"N-no."

"Didn't think so," she straightened up.

Internally, she was. Toph got a special kind of pleasure from scaring people, her boyfriend included.

"I mean, that whole thing really upset me," she told him while picking dirt from under her nails. "I'm just all broken up about it. How are you going to make it up to me, Sokka?"

"I'll do anything. Er, almost anything. I'd like for it not to include bodily harm if that's okay with you."

Toph bent the little man into a little woman before molding it back onto her arm. She turned to him, somehow finding just where his eyes were and that face-splitting grin spread across her face.

"_Almost _anything, huh?"

**

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**

As Aang was dragged through the palace by his irate waterbending girlfriend, the guards and servants had to wonder: Why didn't he just bend himself out? It would seem this might be another Avatar thing. When he is in mortal danger by his loved ones, he loses the ability to bend because of the damage he'd cause. Or he's scared. Like, planning his funeral scared.

She finally stopped and released him once they made it to the courtyard. Aang's first thought was that she wanted the execution to be public. He stood up, determined to face this like man- _I'm not a man! I'm seventeen! –_ and turned to face her, looking very miserable. Katara threw herself at him, and he very visibly flinched.

"Oh, Aang. It's okay," she told him, wrapping her arms around the stiff airbender in a hug, "I know how having all of this responsibility gets to you sometimes. I should just be more understanding of you. When you're pulling these dumb pranks with Sokka, that's just your way of dealing with it."

"Uuuh…Yeeees. Yes! Exactly what you just said!" he agreed, now hugging her back. "It's so great how you get me, Katara. But…I thought you were mad at me."

"I can never stay mad at you. Now, come on. Let's go."

"Sure! Where are we going?" Aang grinned broadly, allowing himself to be lead by the hand through the palace.

"Back to the market, of course. I never got to finish looking at those kimonos."

The grin slipped off of his face.

"Oh. The market…kimonos."

"Yeah, except this time, we won't bring Sokka. He's such a handful."

"Good plan," Aang intoned.

**

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**

Aang dragged himself through the doors of a sitting room in the palace over to an area padded with cushions before flopping facedown on top of them. He sighed deeply before rolling onto his back. Katara had forced him to go to every – probably not –single kimono, dress, comb, fan, jewelry store there was in the entire capital. She bought three items. She tried on a countless number. At this point, Aang wasn't sure if she meant what she said before or if all of that had been punishment.

A white and black ball of fur dropped onto his stomach and peered at him with curious, green eyes.

"You know, Momo," he scratched the lemur behind the ears as he spoke to him, "I really admire how you have enough sense to never be around when the girls are angry. You have to teach me that."

Momo tilted his head and chattered in a manner that gave the impression that what Aang had asked was a hopeless feat. Moments later, Sokka stumbled through the same doors. He didn't make it to the cushions, instead dropped to the floor and crawled to the area rug where the floor was marginally softer.

"So…what'd my sister do to you?"

"Shopping. Lots of shopping. Those are five hours I will never get back, Sokka. Gone forever."

"Ha, shopping. Yeah. I had to talk with her parents. Wanna know what we talked about? 'When are you going to marry our daughter and give us grandbabies?' You know what Toph said? Nothing! She was just sitting there, acting like she wasn't aware what was going on, but she did. Oh, she did. And she was laughing! Giggling, even!"

"Ah, the single life."

The boys in the room snapped their attention to the door way where Zuko stood.

"Looking at you two with your relationships makes me realize how much better my relationship is than yours, Sokka."

"You just take every opportunity to kick a man when he's down, don't you?"

"Sure. I'd do it now if there was a man around, but you'll do."

"Jerk."

"Peasant."

"I've really missed hanging out like this," Aang spoke up.

"What's really bugging me is that Toph thought I was lying about the prank being Aang's idea."

"Why?" Zuko asked, walking all the way into the room. "If it was your idea, own up to it."

Sokka sent Zuko a pointed look. He caught on to his meaning and glanced at Aang who was looking away and whistling innocently.

"So what about those grandbabies, Sokka?"

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A/N: The entire reason this fic was written was because of those few lines when Aang and Sokka walked in on Mai and Zuko. I don't know where the rest came from.

If anyone has a problem with Toph/Sokka, refer to How Suki Killed Sokka's Self Esteem. It will explain all. Also, I have no idea what Zuko and Mai were fighting about. I might have at one time. But I forgot. So again, no idea. Use your brain matter and come up with something. If it's really good, you can message me about it, and I might turn it into another short chapter. But mostly, this is

**The End**

(Actually, the end was up there before the author's note, but eh. Details, technicalities, details.)

To everyone who reivewed, favorited, alerted this story: A big ol' Thank you!


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